Our Lord! You truly know all that we may hide in our hearts as well as all that we bring into the open, for nothing whatsoever, be it on earth or in heaven, remains hidden from Allah. {Quran, 14:38}


He DOES Micro-Manage!

Married 10 years to a Muslim man, Allah bestowed no children upon them. Describing her respect and admiration for him she seems to be a bit too content that he sought a separate way from her upon his return from Hajj, holy pilgrimage. So pleasantly surprised she seemed to meet me, a jilbaab dressed Muslim woman, as she greeted me with “Asalaam Alaikum” (Islamic greeting of peace) and used common terminology like “Insha’Allah” (God-Willing) when appropriate. Impressed by her demonstrating love for the wisdom of Quran and respect for Islam as a fascinating and enriching way of life, all I could think of was to seek God’s assistance, and wonder what the purpose of my meeting her really was. Was God’s Plan that she could be introduced to a fresh look of Islam compared to the negative picture she has painted in her mind? Could it be that God placed and timed our meetings on a slow yet ongoing basis so that she can look at me and recheck her warped thoughts of Islam?

Today, I figured it out. I am so gullible. Certainly, I at least new she had some sort of chip on her shoulder for this Jihad guy and his Palestinian family. I mean, I could see her eyes & stature be filled with emotions when she told me that she is so happy for him that he’s happily married to a “wonderful” Jordanian woman that doesn’t speak English, and a father of twin boys. Somehow she expresses a love for his family too, yet ironically her “mother-in-law”, (no, she doesn’t refer to Jihad as her EX, although she is currently married to another British man), supposedly hates her beyond belief. This 40-something year old woman who claims to love Islam is the same woman who said something like: “who cares if someone takes a little cookie, that doesn’t belong to them, God is too big to micro-manage the details of life…punishment is equal to guilt. I knew I never could be Muslim when I had asked a Imam about using someone else’s egg to get pregnant he said this was absolutely forbidden, yet when I asked an Episcopalian Minister he taught that anything that people love, God loves…” SHOUDLN'T THAT BE THE OPPOSITE SOMEHOW?!!!!

Only after these words hit my ears did it finally become clear, it was not the family of her ex-husband she had an issue with as much as it was her issue with my way of life, Islam.

I needed to play it cool though and just kept bringing up the similarities in our beliefs, for many reason. 1. I know that what I say, do, or act plays a heavy role on the way she sees Muslims (like many people’s misperceptions) 2. Obviously knew this was yet another test for ME, as God was using me as a tool for His Service 3. I didn’t want to challenge her so much as she seemed too emotionally involved to think straight plus, well, just trust me on this one! 4. We work together there in the oral-deaf preschool that my daughter attends. (Which reminds me, the way this whole rambled conversation thing got started was that I brought in markers made to be drawn on windows for my fine motor group. The kids loved it, and as an OT I loved vertical writing as it promotes wrist extension and upper extremity endurance & strength. But that’s a whole other story.)

We got started talking about painting and how in her experience arabs in general do not like the Arts. I made mention that I love doing crafts with the kids but the only exception is that we never use food as a medium. Somehow I managed to affend her with this and she said that because God is so beautiful that using food is a wonderful way to demonstrates God's beautiful creations. "Umm, ok." I politely said, I can undertand that point but would rather use God's other creations to do so rather than food that people are literally dying from a lack of!

So you see my point here? I hope. I don’t understand. I don’t really understand the confidence factor of some people talking about the afterlife as if its all peachy when they have no proof of it. I even asked her what her view of Jesus (peace and blessings be upon him) and she told me that he was the greatest man who ever lived and that she “thinks” he was born to the Virgin Mary (may God be pleased with her). Now read on these next statements, can you believe these rampling in her mind?! She said “I’m not sure, but I don’t really care!” SubhanAllah (Glory belongs to God). Another hypocritical statement it surely was. How could she believe that Jesus was the best human yet not care if his mother was the best of all women?! Having said all that I am starting of a happening yesterday.

On another reflective stance, a random act of kindness given towards my son, 'Strong Believer' who God-willing turns 3 at the end of this month. He was having so much fun through the simple things of life that normal toddlers love. On a carousel carefree and, mashaAllah (what God wills) happy that he just splurged himself on 2 rides while we were waiting for Nena and his baby sister 'Sincere- Devotion' to check out of the grocery store. All I had were pennies left for change, and the slot only took quarters. Alhamdulilah (Praise Allah) it was a beautiful spring day, so I told 'Strong-Believer' he can pretend to be galloping along on the blue sattled horse for a few minutes. People walking in and out of the supermarket some smiled and nodded while others pretended not to even have glanced. Then a well-fit elderly man walked out at a moderate pace towards us with a big smile on his face and pulled out a perfect coin for my sweety and popped it right into that desirable slot! "Here helper, you get another ride for being a good boy for Mama!" Truly touched, he didn't even look back to see my toddler on the horse or anything. This elder probably didn't even think about this, and how much of an impact it had on me. I couldn't help but pray that he becomes one of the Muslims. So that's just it. We know there are so many good people in this world. So many willing to give charity not to show off. So many devoted to being optimistic within a dull situation. So many people who care for others in a compassionate way. I don't get it though. Why is it these people who are loving, like 'Mercy's' teachers, my children's pediatricians, the nurses I work with..why is it they are not Muslim?! I have mentioned this several times to my husband. My curiosity as to what makes it so hard for someone to just say "There is One God, and Muhammad is the Last Messenger", you know, the Shahada. I am not even talking about the practice of Islam now, just the cornerstone statement, belief at this point. I mean, they certainly have enough proof that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) existed and was a prophet. They have more details of the Hereafter than in any other faith. They have the knowledge that the Noble Quran has not been changed, not one letter since 1400 years ago. C'mon with that fact alone, some brains must declare BINGO!! It has got to enter the heart! I don't get why people are so secure in their thoughts, that they will be in a safe place when they die, and yet they shutter to talk about death and act so afraid?! I don't get why many of these "good" people say same-gender marriages (happening here) are not ok, but they are fine about homosexuality. Oh, and I can't comprehend for what purpose do people feel like they are here in this world without fair accountability, or how they feel they have a right to just enjoy their lives while souls are constantly being lifted. Can't they see that Allah is One in by listening to the birds sing praises in the early dawn? Can't they see that no one and nothing is complete except Him? Can't these good people ever wake-up to the fact that we, humanity, are all in it together..that we need to encourage random acts of kindness. To really know the meaning behind anything there has got to be faith that there is truth to be found.

“It is Allah who creates you and takes your souls at death; and there are some of you who are sent back to a feeble age, so that they know nothing after having known (much): for Allah is All-Knowing, All-Powerful” -Quran (16:70)

"He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days and then Istawa (rose over) the Throne (in a manner that suits His Majesty). He knows what goes into the earth and what comes forth from it, what descends from the heaven and what ascends thereto. And He is with you (by His Knowledge) wheresoever you may be. And Allah is the All-Seer of what you do." {57:04}


At April 13, 2006, Blogger Edward Ott said...

what a beautifully written article. i was very moved.


At April 13, 2006, Blogger SUHAA said...

may Allah reward you. i also check out some of the links you have on your site, especially the 99 names of Allah..

At April 13, 2006, Anonymous Um Ibrahim said...

these are really interesting thoughts and situations. As for the woman you mentioned, it seems to me that she is voicing her 'questions' about Islam but in the way of a commment, to see what your reaction would be and in order to find the truth out. At first it seems that she believes what she's saying, but try to consider that she is telling you the things that she is having trouble understanding.

As for the elderly man's act of kindness, i find that the elderly love children. They are not scared to voice their thoughts, whether good or not. Whenever i go to a store it's always the elderly that will talk to me and comment on the kids. But i've never had anyone give me money, that was truly exceptionally kind.

At April 13, 2006, Blogger SUHAA said...

UM ibrahim, she is definantly expressing that there are MANY things she has issues against islam. she has emailed me things about women's status in islam in eurpoe and has asked me what my thoughts are. she has her mind set that Islam is a way of life for those of the past and has made comments saying that many "islamic nations" just need time to beleive me, i know that she does not understand Islamic perspective on some issues, but her problem is is that she has already judged it, your way of life, my way of life, as something really not appropriate for her. plus the idea that she has of God not being concerned with the "little things" in life is totally unislamic..
she is firm with her misunderstandings. so my point in discussing these things with her (which wasnt even my intention) is in hope that she may get a peek of what Islam is all about..not just the poor experiences she has had with her ex- in-law family.
unfortunately its just not about me conisdering she doesnt hav a clue..its actually apparent and in her eyes it is evidenced too. may Allah guide us all.
jazakAllah for your comment.. :-)

At April 13, 2006, Anonymous Um Ibrahim said...

This is a difficult situation for sure, may Allah help you do and say the right things. You really are a magnet for these types of people subhanAllah. I have like.. 0 people asking me about Islam. LOL.

At April 13, 2006, Blogger SUHAA said...

hmm, a "magnet" i dont know if that is a good thing or a bad thing?! :-) may Allah make our speech be a true representation of our hearts, & reflected through our actions. (btw,your prayer manual is coming along really well too! all muslim mama's should really check it out..)

At April 14, 2006, Anonymous Mona Um Ibrahim said...

It's a good thing ofcourse. The prayer manual.. thanks, yeah it's really slow though. I need to work harder on it inshaAllah. I see you put the links back up, looks great! And the green is nice too :)

At April 15, 2006, Anonymous Mona Um Ibrahim said...

btw, where did you get those markers for the window? sounds fun.

At April 15, 2006, Blogger SUHAA said...

salaam um'ibrahim, they were so much fun (for me too!) they're expensive. 4 in a pack for 5 something. i got them from stop & shop actually. wasnt looking for them, just found them in office section, made by Crayola. washes off real easily too.
have fun!

At April 15, 2006, Anonymous Apples said...

Salaam Suhaa, replied to your email just wondering if you'd received it. Take care and have a blessed day there:)

At April 16, 2006, Blogger SUHAA said...

salaam apples, plz forgive me . i thought i had responded. your help on how to put buttons has really helped. thanks to you i now have a few up! sister.
may Allah reward U :-)

At April 19, 2006, Anonymous misfit said...

Curiousity kills... wonder how you look like. I love the way you express your thoughts.

Love the fact that you have HIM in mind in your writings. You're admired.

At April 19, 2006, Blogger SUHAA said...

asalaam alaikum warahmat Allah misfit!
i know what u mean, i wonder how many of these people i have come to know through their blog writing look like. my husband doesnt want me posting any real personal information though like pictures, which i dont blame him..

so lemme create a picture of you to me:
currently i have a red face because ive managed to get sunburned in 50 degree weather being out with the kids at the park the other day by the ocean! but people usually dont notice my face first! they notice my jilbab and long hijab-u know those long ones that covers the shoulders and down (front & back) to the elbows, i also LOVE my sneakers, and a few sisters get a kick out of this and say i should wear black dressy types of shoes. that is not me! especially because i run after my 4 little kids all day. when i go to work, a few hours a week at the nursing home i throw on a labcoat, and when i work at my daughters school i don't. people don't think im egyptian even though both my parents are from there and often mistake me for syrian or lebanese..

the style of my hijab has come a long way. way back when it was jeans , long shirt and a scarf to cover my hair. 10 yrs later, with an Umrah almost 4 yrs ago, it is what it is..dont do make-up either, although i could definantly use it!! so in the house i put a little on, and my kids tell me i have funny eyes when my eyeliner is in place!!

so for whatever that is worth..thats what i look like! :-)

jazakAllah kheir for your comments..very flattering, i pray that my work on this blog will be used towards my good deeds on Judgement Day and that people who read it will benefit.

At April 21, 2006, Anonymous Mona Um Ibrahim said...

nice Suhaa, nice :)

At April 21, 2006, Anonymous Apples said...

Salaam Suhaa...jazakallah thanks:)

hmm I guess I didn't receive your reply..

Have a blessed weekend!

At May 17, 2006, Anonymous barinaji said...

I think your co-worker/angry woman IS searching for the truth. In fact, it is possible that she is angry because you are making too much sense to her and that - for her - is scary. I would suggest that you continue to be your sweet self, answer any of her questions to the best of your ability, and try to ignore her rude comments and bad behaviour. InshaAllah she will find the truth in Islam, and IMAGINE the good deeds you will get for your patience and kindness!!! For many Americans Islam is like "door #3" on the price is right tv show... you never know what you are going to get when you open it - maybe a new car or maybe a donkey. Fear of the unknown is difficult to overcome. May Allah guide those whom He wishes! We can only lead by example and pray for the living.



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